I am a lover of musicals. Pretty much any musical, of any genre, finds its way onto my ‘to-watch’ list and is included in my ‘Musicals’ playlist on Spotify. So, of course, when I found out there was to be a whole movie dedicated to the life and songs of Elton John, there was no doubt I would be buying a ticket to see it. Last week, I finally got around to watching it, and let me tell you: emotions were felt.
For those of you who have been living under a rock, Rocketman stars Taron Egerton portraying Reginald Dwight (more famously known as Elton John). The movie explores the reasons and experiences that led to Elton’s addiction of drugs and alcohol, a major one of which is the experiences surrounding his sexuality and flamboyant personality.
For anyone familiar with Elton John’s life, it will be very apparent quite quickly that accuracy does not play a particularly important role in the film. Rather than being a bioptic, “guide to the life of” à la Bohemian Rhapsody style movie, Rocketman is more loosely based, as opposed to dedicatedly. Nevertheless, there is an incredible line of honesty throughout the stylistic film that deals with the repercussions of not feeling the love you wish to have.
Moreover, the film deals heavily with Elton’s sexuality (making it another relevant post for Pride month), exploring his relationships with others and his relationship with himself. Issues concerning what others may think of you when you do not fit into the mold of society is a rather common thread in gay narratives. But what I found incredibly enticing about this story was the way it unpacked Elton’s personal sense of self-worth.
So much of how he sees himself and the way he conducts himself comes from a fear of abandonment. Even as he finds himself adored by millions in the throes of fame, the increasingly outlandish costumes he dons (costumes which are replicas of actually concert performances by Elton) become just another mask he wears in fear of what others would see with it. Elton comes to depend on the costumes to be his personality without having to come out of the closet.
The disappointment exhibited by almost everyone he holds dear at all aspects of Elton’s individuality become the soundtrack to his life. This constant fear of not being loved drives him to alcohol and drugs in an attempt to numb his emotions. And what becomes increasingly clear is that the entire movie is the story of a boy who was too sensitive for the harsh world. Nevertheless, hope is abundant in the film, Told through a series of flashbacks while at a rehab facility, we see Elton slowly remove the flamboyant devil costume he had come charging into the group counselling meeting in. And with it, removing the unjust expectations and opinions of those that do not, and will not, treat him the way he so desperately wants.
Though interspersed with some of the most well-known and well-loved Elton John songs, it does not detract from the intense sadness the movie version of Elton is working through. It does however, make this one of the most enjoyable musicals I have seen in a long while. I am generally a fan of classic musicals, and rather critical of newer ones (see my post that I wrote this time last year on The Greatest Showman as an example).
The current of self-hatred that Elton carries with him for much of his life can make this movie an emotional one to watch. I’ll be honest, there were a fair few tears from me in the cinema. To watch someone make bad decision after bad decision because they are lonely and hurting is, at some point, like watching a tragedy.
And it is precisely this paradox of humour, and gaiety that comes from the songs, in contrast to the immense loneliness and sadness Elton must work through that makes this film so compelling. The events and actions that drive the plot are numerous and engaging, but at the base of it, it begins and ends as a tale of emotions and self-discovery, which resonated with me, especially at this time of the year.
Where so many people celebrated Pride this past weekend, it is important to remember that for many, their sexuality did not always invite celebration, but rather deep feelings of shame and isolation. To have film that unpacks the emotional complexity of abandonment and self-hatred, a theme unfortunately very common in the lives of many young gay and lesbian individuals, is then extremely important. Representation of the LGBTQ+ community is not complete without also representing their emotional truths and struggles, and this is exactly what has been accomplished in Rocketman.
~S~
Featured Photo by Geert Pieters on Unsplash
